I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize