why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
