just tell him i said nine months
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
