yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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