at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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