I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize