My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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