mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
