were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
