I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
