the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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