Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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