you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
