have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
