i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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