New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize