i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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