hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
