I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
