You work out of a Hotel?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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