sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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