@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
