Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
