You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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