it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
