you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
