ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize