if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
