Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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