Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
