He asked to "fluff my boner.."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
