Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i now understand why vodka
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
