I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
