This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
