I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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