sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
