dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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