I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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