Fuck appropriateness.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize