I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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