okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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