we're blogging at a bar
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
