i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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