I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
