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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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