he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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