Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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