margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
