Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
