the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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