Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
