Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
