idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize