jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
