omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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