Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dicks are not precious.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
