Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize