You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize