No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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