How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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