Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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