I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
