I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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