Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
