Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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