We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
