You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
