I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
love makes seman taste better
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize