I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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