and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize