Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
