Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
