I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
